Sleepy Eggs?

So if I take Ambien on Clomid, will my eggs be too tired to make it out of their house and take a walk along the fallopian tubes? I can see them now: rubbing the sleep out of their eyes, knocking into the ovary walls, looking for their glasses, keys, gathering the kids, and yelling over their shoulder,

"Let's Go! She's surging! We don't have all day!"

Actually, I'm told we have a 48-hour window after the surging happens.

Oh, I finally took a second surge indicator test today. I practically strapped that little stick to my belt until I got a reading. I've been thinking, and what that contraption needs is sound -- a little bell that chimes when its ready to deliver its news.

Better yet, how about different music for the two different answers. For the blank, non-surge indicator circle, I think a good song would be "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne, or - no - wait, how about, "Can I Get a F--- U" by Jay Z. Yea! that one is most appropro. For the happy surging face, I'm torn between Olivia Newton John's "Let's Get Physical" and Salt n Pepa's "Push it." Maybe "Push It" is best saved for a positive pregnancy test.

SO, still no surge today, but I think tomorrow is the day I take my E-ticket ride. (For those of you who don't remember back that far, E-Ticket rides at Disneyland were always the ones with the longest lines: Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean, Space Mountain, that sort of thing). So tomorrow, I'm betting the house and DTD, no matter what.

I'll maintain radio silence and keep from sharing any sordid DTD details, not to worry. It's still a PG-rated blog. For now.

Day 9: Waiting to Pee. Again.

I wake up this morning all excited to take yet another surge indicator test and I'm extra happy because I totally have to pee and the directions tell you that the "first morning" pee is the one you want only they call it urine, not pee. So I pee on the little stick and the little readout is reading it and I set it down because it takes a couple of minutes.

And then I go into the kitchen and eat an grapefruit. Then I put the kettle on to boil. Then I try to scrub the muffin pan that I made mini-quiches in last night in last night. They egg is stuck to the bottom of the goddamned little muffin cups and curse myself for forgetting to put little paper muffin liners in the little cups, and then I remember I want to put in a load of laundry...Do you know where I'm going with this? If you have taken these tests, then you know that you have a small window of time when the readout is displayed and then it clears itself out and goes blank. Yeah. I remember the surge test and I run to the bathroom, and: blank.

Now I have to wait until I have to pee again and I totally don't have to pee right now and drinking more water just sort of dilutes the whole thing, so I have to wait for a real pee, not a forced just-drank-a-gallon-of-water pee. I'm am a huge, multi-tasking dork.

Day 7: Away We Go?

Know what today is?  It's the day we are supposed to DTD.  But I took one of those digital LH-Surge indicator tests that is supposed to tell you when you are about to ovulate. The thing that you pee on has a little digital readout and a smiley face comes on when you're surging.  

If you're not surging, then you get a blank circle. But I think it should have a sticking-tongue out face.  With a middle finger.  

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BIBI