Friday, October 22, 2010
Let's Talk Donuts
I hear and read about things such as "baby brain" and about crazy cravings and I wonder, "who makes this shit up?" I'm convinced it's simply another way of pigeon-holing women as strange creatures with little in the way of common sense.
Except I have had an occasional freak-out if I cannot find a donut store within a short time frame. It happened a few weeks ago, and I thought little of it then, but it happened again today, when I scoured the town where I work for one, measly, donut store. By "scoured" I mean that I drove up and down streets looking for the word "donuts" on any building in town. For a full thirty minutes.
I concluded that there are no donut stores in this town. Can you imagine a place without donuts? An entire population without access to fried and sugared dough. It's nothing short of a tragedy. Luckily for this place, I'm quitting soon, never again to return without the armature of an apple fritter to protect me.
So maybe I have some cravings. Maybe.
Baby brain -- well, I have always thought this to be something made up by the same people who invented PMS. But now I have reason to worry that it might be somewhat accurate. Just last week, I was eating a banana, and I set it down. Moments later, I COULD NOT FIND THE BANANA. And let me tell you, I searched high and low for that thing. Hours later, I found the half-eaten fruit in the trunk of my car. Oh, yeah, THERE. Of course. That makes sense. Incidentally, it was a really hot, sunny day. Not good.
Pregnancy is a funny thing. And I don't mean miracle-of-life funny, I mean funny as in odd, and mystifying, and truly hard to relate to from a distance, in my opinion. I never thought I would turn into a sugar-craved, bumbling idiot. But when I tell these stories to friends who have been pregnant, they say, "Yep, been there. And there was this incicent with a chocolate cream pie..."
Which is all to say, that pregnancy is elusive and weird and but it has its moments, like when you don't give a rat's ass if everyone sees you stripping the meat off a drumstick while wearing a bikini.
And then it slaps you in the face with a rotting banana.